False Start: A Roller Derby Romance (Beautifully Brutal Book 1) Read online

  False Start

  A Roller Derby Romance

  Casey Hagen

  Copyright © 2021 by Casey Hagen

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including: photocopying, recording, or by any storage and retrieval methods without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher at the address below.

  Hagen Novels, LLC

  [email protected]

  Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. All names, characters, locations, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual persons, things, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Edited By: Editing by Kimberly Dawn

  Cover Design: Wildheart Graphics

  FALSE START / Casey Hagen. — 1st ed.

  For my husband, Jim, who has done everything, literally everything so I could get this book done. I don’t remember the last time I cooked, cleaned, or even knew what was going on outside of my office because he’s there to step in and offer words of encouragement like this gem…

  “Get up there and work, you’re my retirement plan.”

  * * *

  And for my work wife, best friend, sounding board, my kick-in-the-ass-when-I-need-it,

  best friend April Canavan who never fails me, puts up with my surly disposition, reminds me of a million things that I constantly forget, and is the best damn plotter/co-consipirator I could ask for.

  * * *

  Late nights in my office with nothing but lamplight, drinks, and our funny banter are the best nights!

  Contents

  A special thank you…

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Epilogue

  Casey in the wild…

  A special thank you…

  This series wouldn’t have been possible without the help of a few amazing roller derby players who answered all of my questions…even the weird ones!

  Catye (Catastrophe) Jones

  Evan (Evanity) Stewart

  Danielle (Cookie) Mahoney

  Jenn (Jenn-I-Fear) Cooper

  And a special thank you to Jenn (Jenn-I-Fear) Cooper for proofreading and editing for accuracy of the sport!

  You’ve been amazing…I’ll keep you supplied with all the hardcover books after you helped me make this the best book possible!

  1

  Sharp and jagged pain speared through my side, making me suck in a hard, deep breath. My teeth dug into my mouthguard as I growled low in my throat. Glancing up at the pack as they skated into position, I met Tilly the Hun’s mean eyes. They crinkled at the corners when they narrowed, not with age, but with spite. The sneer spread over her face, a glimpse of the cold black heart that chugged inside her chest.

  Of course the last bout of the season had to be against her team. Why wouldn’t it? We’d go head-to-head, our personal bitter rivalry a living, breathing heartbeat on the track. Each smackdown she delivered trying to gouge the armor of my confidence.

  She refused to stop swinging at me.

  And no matter how many times she came at me, no matter how hard, I refused to stay down.

  Tilly’s calculating smile promised more retribution to be delivered the minute the ref blew the whistle to start the jam.

  Retaliation for landing on her turf.

  Punishment for being an outsider in her town.

  Reckoning for refusing to leave.

  Every bout, every blow of the whistle when our skates met the track in the same jam, she played out her need for revenge.

  And I showed up front and center for the battle between us that would never be over.

  Because in life, and especially in roller derby, when they knock you down, you get back up.

  You always get back up.

  Pathetic, emotionally bankrupt Tilly had no clue she’d been preparing me for this sport for a decade. She’d been hardening me with brutality to take hit after hit, building my endurance.

  Fueling my tenacity, all to her own detriment.

  She thought she could scare me away?

  Fuck no.

  As long as derby existed, she’d have to keep facing me. She’d never have this sport on her terms.

  Free from me.

  With one last glance over her shoulder, our eyes connected, and I grinned.

  The gauntlet dropped with the shrill peel of the referee’s whistle cutting through the air. Pushing off my toe stops, I tapped into the adrenaline, the anger burning low in my belly whenever I saw Tilly’s face—heard her poisonous voice—and lunged forward, looking for a way around or through the pack.

  Pockets opened but closed a fraction of a second later as bodies collided, muscles flexed, and determination-laced grunts filled the air.

  Tuned into the calls from my blockers, I pushed at barriers, waiting for something to give.

  Moving to the outside, I kept my eyes on the inside, looking for space to get through. Throwing my shoulder as though I planned to cut around the outside, pushing the boundaries, I lurched forward and the two blockers in front of me crowded right, keeping their bodies tight together, closing the gap, giving me the opportunity to dart around them in the middle.

  The shouts melded together. The cheers of the crowd bled into the calls from my teammates. Sweat trickled into my eyes, the warm sting forcing me to blink.

  Bite “N” Switch, their biggest blocker, with her head half turned, always watching and readjusting to thwart my every attempt to break through the pack while trying to propel her own jammer through the chaos, stumbled back after a solid hit from my teammate, Anarch-Eve.

  Their showdown left Tilly trapped in the middle.

  Away from me.

  Despite the gap in front of me, another pocket opened on the inside. With Tilly pinned, I had a shot this time. Adrenaline surged through my veins, my instincts screaming for me to go for it.

  I could never resist going for the inside.

  Something about that boundary line called me every single time.

  My shoulder brushed past their pivot, MissAdventure. Just two more strides and I could surge forward. I had it this time. I totally had it. With Eve on Tilly, nothing could stop me.

  Our tangled skates threatened to topple me over, but I yanked my foot free while keeping my balance on my left. My edges flexed from the force of my weight. With a swing of my arms to propel my upper body, and a hop…I slipped ahead.

  Fuck yes!

  A sickening thud obliterated the cheer of the
crowd. The air whooshed from my lungs as the sharp pain exploded in my ribs once again. My wheels ripped away from the floor, gravity and my trajectory turning them into lead weights on my feet.

  Time slowed, our rivalry playing out like a scene in an action movie where victory was all but certain.

  But whose victory?

  She was the bad guy.

  But maybe I was a bad guy too.

  Maybe we weren’t the lead characters at all. Maybe our names were both lost in the second half of the credits. The font smaller. The roles forgettable. Secondary characters adding to the body count.

  Names on the tip of viewers’ tongues, but never quite remembered.

  Soaring off the track, I kept my arms tucked in, fighting the urge to catch myself. I caught Tilly’s determined gaze one last time, standing where I had been, gloved hands clutched on her knee pads, her lungs heaving, victory in her glare.

  Closing my eyes, I waited for it.

  The one thing this sport guaranteed.

  Pain.

  I envisioned the next few seconds. The ones that came after the landing. My mind already determined to get back on the track. My brain calculating the next steps to get up.

  My side and hip crashed against the concrete, a slice of pain slashing through my pelvis from the unyielding cold surface.

  The blow ricocheted through me, rattling me all the way to my bones, sucking the breath from my heaving lungs until my stomach hollowed out with the loss of air.

  The whistle cut through the ringing in my ears, saving me from having to pretend I didn’t just get pummeled by a freight train. Saving me from exposing my weakness…that maybe this time, no matter how much I prepared, no matter how much I wanted to win, I might not have been able to bounce right back up and on the track.

  Dragging a gulp of air into my lungs, I blinked furiously trying to clear my vision. The blurry crowd finally coming into focus.

  And him.

  His cool, hooded gaze radiated boredom. Detached and so still in the restless crowd, he leaned back in his seat in the front row, his leg casually stretched out, his bent arm hooked over the back of his metal folding chair, leaving his fingers dangling carelessly.

  “Hey, you good?” Eve asked, panting over me, cutting off my view and reaching out to help me up.

  “Yeah.” I reached out and took her offered hand. My hip buckled when I straightened, the slice of pain ricocheting through me, making my eyes burn. Tightening my muscles, I locked my knees until I had my balance.

  On my feet once again, I cocked my head until my neck cracked as Eve skated away. Glancing back at the crowd, my focus homed in on the now-empty metal chair. From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of the door clicking shut.

  Not impressed, dude?

  Yeah, me either.

  Cars, pickups, and a few company vans filled the parking lot next to Banked Track, the single hottest bar—well, only bar in Galloway Bay.

  Okay, so maybe not the only bar. There were a few watering holes on the outskirts of our coastal Maine town. The kind that looked like abandoned outbuildings during the day with sagging rooflines, missing shingles, cracked windowpanes, and neon signs which probably hadn’t worked since the seventies.

  I know I sure as hell never recalled seeing them lit.

  The sort of places where warm beer was always on tap for weathered fisherman, relic sea riders ranging somewhere between fifty and corpse, all with the same deep carved wrinkles in their sea-worn faces.

  Generations of locals who struggled to survive their love affair with a romanticized profession flocked to the forgettable dives, wanting the quiet anonymity of drinking away their mountain of sorrows and all-too-limited successes with little fanfare and the drone of a muffled television keeping them company.

  But for the rest of us, the outcasts, the townies, occasional tourists, and definitely derby girls, Banked Track was the sole nightlife of Galloway Bay. Tinged with the scent of salt air that crashed along our rocky coast, wrapped in the charm of rough brick walls, the atmosphere lulled even the most sullen into a good time.

  And the sconces glowing with warm light and muted just enough you could get away with not recognizing a one-night stand you snagged from the scarred bar stools there.

  Not that there were many one-night stands. Small-town bed-hopping had a way of making the rounds; next thing you knew, you were in the express lane of the local grocery store, minding your own, just a girl trying to snag a bit of salted caramel liquor to keep her company on a cold, lonely night and bam!

  Not so subtle whispers of your escapades from the over-forty gossips who only gave a shit because they weren’t getting any at home.

  Not that it happened to me often, but when it did, I shrugged it off. Sleeping with your high school sweetheart for the past two decades, realizing that you may actually die with having only fucked one guy throughout your ho-hum life had to sting.

  I couldn’t imagine any sex being good enough that I’d want to be married to it for the rest of my life.

  And I’d had some damn good sex.

  A blast of heat washed over my frozen cheeks the minute I yanked open the door, driving away the vibration of my chattering teeth reverberating through my battered body the minute I got out of my car.

  Okay, in my car. Because the heater sucked. But the car ran and that was good enough. I was never behind the wheel for more than a few minutes anyway. Anything longer than around town, like our bouts in Augusta, Portland, and Rockland, I hitched a ride with a teammate. They appreciated the gas money and I appreciated not sitting broken down on the turnpike.

  If I even made it to the turnpike.

  “Toast, toast, toast,” my team chanted, raising their shot glasses as I uncoiled my scarf and limped over to join them.

  Eve handed me a shot glass and narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re limping.”

  “So what else is new.”

  “Maybe you should get that hip checked.”

  “I’m walking, right?”

  “Yeah, and snarling which means you’re hurting.”

  “Alcohol and ice. That’s all I need.” I raised my glass and took in the skeptical glances from my core team. The originals: Eve, Marty, Rory, Sean, and Zara. “To stiff dicks, perky tits, bitches getting every last bit of karma they deserve…oh, and that straight piece in Tetris.” I knocked back the shot, slapped the glass on the table, lifted the pile of hair off my neck, and fanned my face for the flush I knew would rush my Irish skin in a matter of seconds.

  “Girl, you are fired up tonight,” Marty said on a laugh.

  “Enjoy it.” My voice hissed on the burn in my throat. “I won’t be this full of fuckery until I have to face off with Tilly the wench again.”

  “Don’t you mean Hun? Tilly the Hun?” Zara said, ever the serious one of the group.

  “No.”

  “Oooooookay then,” Zara said, glancing away.

  I almost felt bad. Almost.

  While I seriously wanted to stab Tilly in the fucking eye, I was madder at myself and the fact that I continued to play right into her juvenile games. Every time I did, I only emboldened her to continue with her shit, committing myself to the miserable cycle of giving Tilly endless satisfaction.

  Frankly, I just wanted to stop talking about it.

  And that ice. I needed that fucking ice.

  Flipping my head down, I wrapped the bandana around my hair and tied it in a knot to hold my sweaty and now-cold hair off my face.

  “Did you guys order the next round yet?” This bitch was getting her drink on tonight.

  A little Three Dog Night pumped through the speakers low in the background, almost impossible to discern, but the familiar beat crawled in my chest and took hold of my body, wrapping me in a familiar memory like a warm pair of arms. Each note transporting me to another time, another place, to the last time I had a family.

  “Oh no. She’s got that look in her eye,” Sean said with a snicker.

  Eve glowered
at me. “Yeah, we ordered the next round. Now put that face away.”

  Slinging my arm around Eve, I bobbed my head, a slow grin spreading over my face.

  Eve flicked me a glance and rolled her eyes. “You and your classic rock folky shit.”

  Pressing my cheek to hers, I closed my eyes. “You love it and you know it.”

  Eve snorted. “I love you, so I put up with it.”

  The liquor swept through my veins, carrying away the first few seeds of discontent. The song was a sign and I planned to roll with the message it delivered.

  Hips swaying, a smile spreading over my lips, I gave Eve no choice but to sway along with me.

  Her hip bumped mine, my muscles seized, and I bit my lip. “Ouch, shit. Ice.”

  “I’ll get it,” Eve said, pulling away.

  “Hey,” I said, stopping her. “I’ve got it.” Dropping a quick, hard kiss on her lips, I made my way to the bar where I knew the song would be louder.

  Patti Perkins, owner of Banked Track and the original derby queen from Galloway Bay, slung her towel over her shoulder and slapped her palms on the polished cherry bar. “Heard you had a rough night.”

  I glanced away with a shrug. “Word travels fast. Can I beg you for a bag of ice? Super cold.”

  She threw her head back and laughed, her frizzy, frosted hair paying homage to the eighties brushing her shoulders. “Super cold ice, you got it, Maze.”

  I rolled my eyes at the way she shortened my name. Something that used to drive me nuts, but sort of caught on and hell if anything I said was going to stop it. I could forgive her for that one…after all she had a special place in my heart, giving me my first job when I knew damn well she wasn’t looking for help.